


Death in Paradise

by Persiflage



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Deathfic, Drinking, Episode 5:22, Episode Related, Episode Tag, F/M, Heavy Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-05-13 05:49:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14743122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Persiflage/pseuds/Persiflage
Summary: Daisy gets a call from Melinda May: Coulson wants to see her one last time before dying.





	Death in Paradise

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't want to write this, but my Muse insisted. Ugh, damn you Muse! Sorry Cousy peeps.

Daisy’s in LA when she gets the call she hadn’t dared to hope for.

“It’s May,” says her former SO. “He’s got maybe 24 hours left.” A pause, then, “He wants to see you, but he doesn’t want you to come.”

“I’ll come,” Daisy tells her.

She hears the older woman breathe out – a sigh, she wonders. “I told him you would.”

“I’ll get Davis to pick me up and drop me off,” she tells May.

“Okay. I’ll send you directions.”

“Thanks.” As soon as May cuts the call, Daisy calls Davis, who’s been waiting on standby to take her back to the Lighthouse following a surveillance mission she’s been carrying out and which only finished last night. Daisy had argued with Mack against the necessity of having Davis remain here on standby but right now she’s deeply grateful that he’d insisted. She tells Davis where they’re going, and he promises to get the quinjet ready, and she swallows the last of her coffee, then hurries up to her room to collect her bag. As she takes an Uber across town to the airfield, she sends Mack a text message, not sure enough of her ability to speak if she calls him to let him know where she’s going.

 _Give him all our love_ , Mack tells her, and she texts back an agreement, then pays the driver and climbs out of the car. Within a few minutes they’re in the air, and she settles into the seat in the cockpit alongside Davis with her laptop to begin writing up her surveillance report for Mack.

It’s been a strange few weeks since Coulson and May left: Simmons had suffered a miscarriage in the days following Fitz’s death, and has been little in evidence since; Mack and Elena have begun repairing their relationship while trying to navigate him becoming Director; and Davis and Piper have become a part of the core team. And Daisy’s stayed out of the Lighthouse as much as possible – she’d taken it on herself to see Polly and Robin Hinton back home – and had insisted on driving them across country rather than accompanying them aboard the quinjet as she’d wanted to spend time reconnecting with them, especially Robin. Then she’d gone to visit Carla and George Talbot. She’d expected that interview to be harder than it had been – not because she thought Talbot’s family wouldn’t know what had happened: it was all over the news media, and the internet after all, but because she’d expected them to blame her, but they hadn’t. Instead Carla had told Daisy that she’d known her husband wouldn’t be coming back. 

Daisy had made the trips not just for the sake of the mothers and children involved, but because she’d also wanted time away from the new base in order to begin processing Coulson’s loss on her own terms. She still wishes he’d taken her up on her offer of blood transfusions – since her blood contains the GH serum, the Centipede serum, and her mother’s DNA, she’d been certain giving him some of her blood would’ve reversed the damage that was being done by his deal with Ghost Rider, but he’d refused and after what Fitz had done to her, there was no way she was going to force an unwanted medical procedure on the man she loved, not even to save his life.

Daisy’s finished submitting her report, and the recordings from her three days of surveillance, by the time Davis lands them near the spot where they left Coulson and May. 

“I’m not sure how long I’ll be,” she tells her pilot and he shrugs.

“I can wait. Give him my regards, yeah?”

She nods, then strips off her jacket and leaves it on her seat, along with her backpack, before walking through the plane and down the ramp. As she follows May’s directions to the place that she’s been renting for her and Coulson Daisy tries to bolster her courage – she’s pretty sure Phil’s going to be in a bad way by now, and the idea of seeing him dying and not being able to save him is a pretty devastating one.

She reaches her destination all too quickly, and pauses to take a deep breath before approaching the door, which opens before Daisy reaches it.

“Daisy.” May’s voice is clipped and her expression seems as stoic as ever, but Daisy knows her former SO well enough to know that she’s upset.

“How are you?”

“Dealing,” the older woman says, and steps back, opening the door wider for Daisy to enter.

“Is he –?” she begins, then cuts herself off, unable to quite finish the sentence.

“Still alive. Stubborn,” she adds, and when Daisy gives her a questioning look, says, “He’s waiting until he’s seen you.”

Daisy swallows hard, nods, then follows May along a short hallway and into a large, airy room that overlooks the sea. She can’t see Phil at first because of the dimness of the room after the dazzle of sunlight outside, but she’s already turning towards him, sensing his feeble vibrations, as May says, “Daisy’s here.” She gives her former protégé a nod, then goes out of the room. 

“Daisy?” Phil’s voice is so weak as to be barely audible.

“I’m here, AC,” she says, her voice choked, and only afterwards wonders why she reverted to that old nickname. She reaches his bedside and feels her eyes fill with tears and her throat constrict as she looks down at him. He looks a wreck and she finds herself surprised he’s hung on this long. His right hand moves feebly on the covers and she sinks into the chair beside him, clasping his hand as gently as possible. 

“I didn’t want you to see me like this,” he whispers. “But I found I had to see you one last time. Forgive me?”

“Of course,” she says instantly, then leans down and presses her lips to his brow. 

“I’m sorry I can’t be there for you any more,” he says, and she tightens her hold on his hand almost imperceptibly. 

“It’s okay,” she tells him. “I’m a big girl now, I can deal.” His gaze is steady and far too penetrating for a man who’s dying, but she doesn’t look away, and she suspects he knows how hard it’s been, even though she isn’t saying anything – he’s always been pretty good at reading her. “Davis sends his regards, and Mack asked me to give you their love.”

“Likewise,” he rasps, and she nods. “You look good.”

She chuckles weakly. “Wish I could say the same, AC.”

His hand moves in hers, as if he wants to tighten his grip but cannot any longer, and she feels a huge lump in her throat as she thinks of how much she’s always loved his hands – they’re not as powerful as hers, of course, but they’d been pretty strong, but also capable of such gentleness.

“Daisy.” His voice seems weaker than when she first arrived, but she can tell he’s feeling guilty about this situation. 

“I’m okay,” she says, barely able to get the words out, and belatedly aware that tears are coursing down her cheeks. “Shit.” She whispers the word, and Phil utters a soft sound that, after a moment, she realises is laughter. She scrubs at her tears with her free hand, and he lifts the hand she’s clasping, as if he wants to brush away her tears with his thumb as he’d done in the past. 

She feels guilty as she realises she wants him to do that, and she lowers his hand back to the bed, rubbing her thumb over his knuckles. She has noticed that he’s not wearing the prosthetic hand, and guesses he’s not really strong enough now.

“Will you do one last thing for me?” he asks after a little while as she masters herself as much as she can.

“If I can,” she tells him immediately, which earns her the ghost of a smile.

“Hold me?”

She frowns at him for a moment, then nods and drawing her hand from his, she reaches down and unfastens her boots, dragging them off, then climbs carefully onto the side of the bed next to him. She eases her left arm under his body, then wraps her right arm over him as well, and holds him as gently as if he was a newborn animal.

“Thank you,” he whispers, and she strokes a hand up and down his foreshortened arm, even more aware now of how close he is to death.

“I love you,” she whispers, wanting to say it once last time.

That makes him smile. “Love you too,” he says, then sighs. 

Only a few moments pass before she feels his vibrations go completely flat and she knows without question that he’s dead, even before she checks his pulse. She bites her lip to keep from screaming, then buries her face in his shoulder and sobs as quietly as she can, even though her weeping can no longer disturb him.

She’s got herself somewhat under control again before she senses May’s at the door behind her, and feels the older woman approaching the bed.

“He’s gone, then,” she says, her tone dispassionate, but Daisy’s not fooled by that tone. She hasn’t been fooled by it since she got full control of her powers.

“Yeah,” she answers, her voice nearly as raspy as Phil’s was at the end. She eases him out of her arms – she cannot think of him as merely a body or a corpse, not yet, then gets off the bed.

May puts her hand on Daisy’s shoulder and they exchange a look, then hug, without needing to speak – Daisy doesn’t doubt May feels even worse than she does right now, since she’s known Phil for decades rather than a mere handful of years.

After a bit they both pull back, then May leads her through to the kitchen where Daisy sees two shot glasses waiting on the table, and she gets the urge to cry again as she’s reminded of them saying goodbye aboard the Z1 before May and Coulson were dropped off here.

May passes Daisy one of the glasses, then picks up the other. “To Phil Coulson.”

Daisy nods. “To Phil Coulson.” They clink their glasses together, then take a simultaneous swallow. They both stand in silence, neither one of them looking at the other, and Daisy finishes her drink, then says, “I should be getting back. Will you be okay?”

The older woman nods. “I’ll be fine.”

“If you ever wanted to return to SHIELD,” Daisy starts, but May cuts her off.

“I’m not coming back.”

“Okay.” She swallows, then says, “I’d like to stay in touch, if that’s okay?”

After a moment May nods. “You’ve got my number.”

“Thanks.” Daisy feels awkward about just walking out, but May is definitely giving off an ‘I want to be alone’ vibe, so Daisy sets her glass down on the table, then turns and walks out. She starts back to the quinjet feeling an ache of loneliness in her body that threatens to overwhelm her, and she can’t help wondering whether remaining at SHIELD is a good thing. It’s not the first time she’s wondered that since Phil left, but the thought of quitting altogether is more pervasive now that Phil’s gone.

Even though he’s just died in her arms, the realisation that Phil Coulson is dead for real this time suddenly hits her hard, and Daisy stops dead in her tracks, then sits down, weeping. She wants to scream and rage, wants to break things – and she’s powerful enough now, thanks to the serum that Phil sacrificed his life to give her, that she could easily destroy the world if she chose. But as much as she’s hurting, she can’t do that – it’s not the world’s fault that the best man she’s ever known, the man who’s always had her back, always believed in her, always valued her, and always supported her for fives years, is gone and that she has no one now. 

Daisy’s not sure how long she sits there weeping, but she eventually runs out of tears, and after scrubbing at her face with her sleeve, she gets to her feet, then resumes her walk back to the quinjet. She decides that she’s not going to make a decision about quitting SHIELD today, or possibly this week, but she is going to give it some serious thought. 

And in the meantime, she’s going to go back to the Lighthouse, to make herself some grilled cheese (because Phil gave her the recipe in that letter he left in her bunk), and get some sleep, because she’s completely exhausted, physically and emotionally.

She spots the quinjet, and quickens her pace, wanting nothing more than to be gone now that Phil’s gone from this world. She doesn’t look back as she boards the plane.


End file.
